Life long struggle..

So I've struggled with not liking my body since puberty. Ups and downs of weight loss and gain. Always active in sports, basketball and volleyball. But always being the "big girl with the pretty face". Like so many women, I stay happy and smiling but am so sad with this looming inside of me. I know I should be happy with this body that God gave me. Yet selfishly, I'm not. I have been blessed with a husband that loves me for me. God knew I needed someone to love me like that! 

But I have decided to step out and not hide. Let's do this! Get this awful weight off and encourage those women around me to come together and not just be a pretty face but a Hot Mama. Curves that contour, not waves with bumps and road blocks :)

Every week I will be blogging how the previous week went. The ups and downs, highs and lows. It might get ugly for a bit, but that's the road I choose. I'm not looking for perfection, just happiness within myself. You want to chime in, say what you want. Enjoy your freedom of voicing your opinion. Honesty goes a long way in my book.

Today....is the day.

My goal weight is 170
My current weight is 240 (this is huge step! Me telling You My weight)
My height is 5' 8"
Now I know the charts say I should be 145, but again, I'm looking for happiness not perfection. I love being curvy and enjoy actually eating and trying new foods.
Just being honest! :)

See you next week!!

P.S. thank you Cadie for your encouraging words a few days ago!

Happy 9th Anniversary My Love <3

October 5, 2002 my dreams came true.....
You are the love of my life. My one and true best friend. We didn't know it would be so tough. The world trying to split us apart. But the world forgot that we are soul mates, brought together by God. Our trust in Him since day one has kept our relationship strong. Ups and downs, surprises at every corner. I know we never would have imagined 9 years ago going through these heart wrenching situations we have endured. I realize every relationship has its ups and downs. And boy, I don't want to repeat those years again ;) Our past is behind us our future is bright. We have each other, holding tight. My heart is excited each day to spend time with you. My heart smiles as I see you with our children. It all confirms you are the one for me. Yup, God was right. You are my gift. And with this gift I have received, I will water it to make it grow, prune it so it will not go wild, light it so it will blossom. <br>
My promise to you, Till death do us part. Thank you for picking me!!</p>
<p>P.S. daddy we love you!! XXOO <br>
Olivia, Sonja, Forrest, Barron, and Liam<br>
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Welcome to Fall...with colds

I love Fall,spiced hot cider, campfires, and my beautiful green leaves turning colors. I love my children, growing up little ladies and gentlemen. But when five children get sick at different times and none of them have the same symptoms at the same time...Ugh!!
I love, and I mean love, my sleep! I mean most mothers do :) mostly because we know we won't be getting a lot :) But since having children, a full nights sleep, 6+ hours of uninterrupted sleep, just doesn't happen much. The older four where, and still are, the worst sleepers. They never took naps well, and sleeping thru the night...what was that?  Now having Liam love to sleep...is a blessing from God!
I just want to be excited about Fall and my children....without colds :) so here is a picture of my children on our farm, healthy and happy! I love you my babies!! Get better soon!!! Mama needs her sleep, lol.

I Am Super Mom

I've been saying this pretty consistantly these days. It's not that I feel like I'm better than any mom or wife. It's just that even I can't believe what I get accomplished. :)
Any normal woman would throw up her arms and say forget it. But me, no, of course not. LOL! As you can tell just by having 5 children that I'm odd. I like being the odd woman at the store with 4 kids asking for new toothbrushes while I'm feeding a newborn and a lady saying I have my hands full, and I haven't even started grocery shopping. Then realizing I didn't change  my shirt from working in the kitchen all day. LOL!
So why not add more craziness to my life and add crocheting, homeschooling and getting busy in the kitchen with freezer meals. I wish I had enough time in the day to add so much more! Is that crazy? Or is my Super Mom coming out?
I've been thinking about this a lot. What am I really trying to accomplish when I get into Super Mom mode??
I've decided it's the 3 big goals in my life that I want to fulfill.
1. I want and always have wanted my children to see me as a wife/mother that they want to resemble. Godly, loving, and full of joy and happiness.
My life verse says..Psalms 100 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness, come before his presence with singing...
2. Make my husband proud and honored for me, Super Mom, to be his wife. I take marriage very serious! These days you have to, not many marriages stay together anymore. Have I made mistakes? Umm...shamefully yes. And my heart just thumps in sadness when those mistakes are made. Yet remember ...I'm not perfect, I am a sinner. God has found that perfect man just for me. Eric and I fit so perfectly its kind of scary at times :)
3. To honor and please our God. God has blessed me with this life of being a mom/wife, a dream come true. Why wouldn't I go to extreme for Him?! I was blessed with knowing and believing in God since I was very young. Again, I'm not perfect, God isn't wanting perfection. He's wanting growth.
I Am Super Mom....so now when you see me saying this or reading it somewhere, you now know....I'm not trying to give my ego a boost. I'm reminding myself of my challenge, do my very best..I have my God, husband and kids to give my very best too.
So to all you moms and wifes out there...Super Moms Unite!!!! :)

Tell time to stand still

Now that I have kids, time is just slipping by. Sure there are days I wish would go faster(moms know about those days ;) but most days I'd love time to stop yet let me keep going!
How can it be that I have 5 children and the oldest is 7 already?? When I had the first 4 all under the age of 3, its officially a blur. Don't ask me when they got their first tooth, or when they potty trained cause I don't remember. It might sound horrible but I was taking care of their needs, and life when into fast motion. Now I have 2 girls who want their ears pierced and the boys want motorcycles. What?? What happen to being happy with ur babies and snuggling with mom?
Sure I understand I'm not number one when daddy is home :) but Geesh!
Barron was ready to help in the kitchen today, pouring in the ingredients and wanting to pour the batter(mom said no to that :) pretty soon he'll be able to make his own lunch instead of mom helping him :( 
Forrest opens the door to the kitchen just to say 'I love you mom', then runs off to play again. I don't ever want that to stop.
Olivia, I couldn't ask for a better helper. Sure she doesn't want to all the time. But she is growing up into quite the young lady. Sonja is, well, she's my free spirit. Sure she gets into trouble on a daily basis ;) but she is the kindest little girl. And loves to make friends. I'm not ready for them to grow up and want to play with their friends more than be with me.
Baby Liam has brought out even more love and compassion from each one of us. More than I even imagined.
Tell time to stand still....yes, I'm being selfish! I think I have every right! Even though time WON'T listen, it will keep ticking away. With every tick, I want it to remind me of how important it is to absorb every moment.....
God, thank you for my children and all their different personalities. Thank you for our daily joys and ups and down. Don't let me forget the little things and keep in mind there are many big moments to come. May I be there in their time of need. Giving them the right words so they will follow the right path, Your path. Amen.

New year, new curriculum, newborn

It shouldn't be the beginning of a new school year already?! It's been exciting with being pregnant with so many friends. Every step of the way being able to consult with someone having gone or going through the same problems or situations. Finding out we were having our third boy <3 going through the 'nesting' period was a real treat :/ NOT...lol. The craziness of Eric working so much and anxiously waiting for Liam to be born, has brought us way to fast into fall.
Now before Liam was born we decided to change our curriculum. Let me rephrase that...I decided to change the curriculum. This is a huge decision out of my comfort zone. But am very happy with my decision with CLE. Of course having a great homeschool mom, Allissa,  to aid and encourage kinda made the change easy. But that was before Liam was born :) now that he is born and I have to start teaching 4 children, ages 7 and under, with a newborn...big GULP. I suddenly feel overwhelmed and not so sure of myself. And how exactly are we going to get everything done each say I have no idea :)
But what I do know is, homeschooling works for us. I don't have to be perfect, I have wonderful kids that love learning and a great God to give me peace throughout this New year of Newness, and wonderful friends that are there for me whenever I need them.
It's amazing how writing this blog gives me my confidence back! :) so here we go....a New year, a New curriculum and an Newborn